LOL's and ROFL's Should be Banned!

They said that with the advent of internet communications, human emotions might get lost. The cues that you might've picked up from a smile (or a fake smile at that) or a smirk would now be completely lost during e-chat they said.

They were wrong. I still managed to pick up on those cues. Until these idiots came out with their ROFLs, ROFLMAOs and their LOLs. They shouldn't be used and should be banned because:

1. Confuses people who don't know what they stand for. Most people are afraid of asking coz a large number of net idiots seem to know what they stand for. You don't want to stand out now do you?
2. Sounds ugly. Imagine somebody saying ROFLMAO. I mean, seriously!
3. You can never have quite a grip on how the person has reacted to whatever you've said. A simple, 'Ha ha, that was funny.' is way way, way better than LOL ain't it?
4. These acronyms indicate laziness to type out something more substantial. I once told somebody that I had a bad fever, and he reacted by saying LOL. Sonnova.. !

Twitter is perhaps the exception, you can occassionally use a LOL here and there to save on space and stay within 140. But otherwise, unacceptable! Call it Netiquette!

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I Still Hate Hospitals!

What's with doctors and hospital people that makes them think they're better than us?

Just because they were better than me at academics they're better than me? Just because they wrote the Medical entrance exam that I didn't write because I overslept they can look down on me? Just because they spent five years (possibly more these days) gobbling down theory when I was playing truant in college they can talk down to me?

Hospitals have been and always will be dark, mysterious and rude places.

Last evening, with fever, sinusitis, a bad cough and breathing difficulties, against all my better instincts, I decided to go down that lane. I had a strange sense of foreboding that I chose to ignore. When you're unwell, and your head seems to be splitting at the middle with pain, you do tend to do that.

Nearest hospital? Padmapriya Multi-speciality hospital. Yeah, don't get me started on the name.

Reception: 6 pm
Jr: I need to see a General Physician.
Obnoxious Receptionist: That dwaar, saar. Please, wyait on thwase chairs.

6:30: Chair. Waiting. Two more people to go before my turn.

7:00: My turn about to arrive finally.

7:01: My turn arrives, but an elderly woman jumps up and runs inside, before I can get up. (sigh)

7:15: Elderly woman goes out. Another one prepares to cut line and jump inside. I stop this one.
"Ma'am, it's my turn"
"Enna, sonna ...... (unintelligible Tamil) pongo."
(sigh) I sit down and wait again.

7:30: Young woman sitting beside me who came way after I did, thinks she can jump line too. I don't think so.
"Ma'am, I came before you, so I'm going in."
"Waaat? NOOOOO! Yai caim yearlier, yai was shitting dayar, yai sva you kyaming yin."
"No you didn't. And no matter what, I'm going in next. And that's it."
"Yask tha reesheshpen who kyaim farst!"

Reception: 7:31:
"Can't you have a damn token system or something here so that the patients won't fight amongst themselves? Is this what you call professionalism? Is this how you damn run a hospital" (the headache was getting to me)
Obnoxious Receptionist: "Waat saaar? Adjust, no? Wait for some more time, no? Waat, no?"
" I've been waiting since 6! You gonna treat me or should I go somewhere else?"
(politeness out of nowhere, suddenly) "Er, saar. Please take a seat. I'll talk to the necessary pyeepyal."

7:35: Still waiting.
Well Dressed Man: (Strides up) "What's your problem, sir?"
Me: "Your hospital is not pro enough. You've got patients fighting amongst themselves coz you don't have a damn token system. That's  my goddamn problem."
WDM: "Er, I mean, sir, I'm the doctor. What's your medical problem?"
Me: (sigh) "If you aren't wearing the coat or the stethescope thing, at least introduce yourself next time. Ok, my problems are..."

First BP test: 140/90
Injection that hurts, that took several attempts.
Second BP: 120/90
Doc: "See? Your BP has come down now. You shouldn't have so much BP."
Me: "Whose fault is that?"
Doc: "Er, well, let me explain the medicines I'm about to prescribe to you.. You can take the rest of it up with our hospital management staff, they're waiting for you outside.

Outside: 10 mins later.
No Hospital Management Staff. I'll probably have to wait for them too.
(sigh) I walk out.

(Images Courtesy:

The Medicinal Properties of Maggi Noodles

(Statutory Warning: Might be applicable only to ACJians)

1. Protection from Ulcer, Headaches, Bad Hangovers

How? Food is always good to have. Don't have a stove to cook, lazy to go outside or raining heavily? Too drunk to even stand up straight, but still hungry? There need and CAN only be one resort. And you know what that is.

2. Protection from Blisters on Feet/ Snakes/ Frogs and Muggers

Do you go to a college whose mess is half an hour away by foot and takes you through the most dangerous vegetation filled terrain outside the Amazon? Well, don't go then. Sit at home, coax your roomie into giving you his water heater, and you know what.

3. Protection from Depression

Not as rich as everybody else, but still as hungry? Can't order out everyday and don't want to trek to an offshore island everyday? Don't worry. There is something that as Simba from Lion King called "Affordable, yet Satisfying!" Available at any chotta-shop near you.. Hurry! Before you lose it completely!

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Obituary from ACJ: The Death of Hype

(Thanks to Borti for a discussion that prompted this post)

She was young when she died. Though she will live on in memories. Not ours. But those who aspire to be where we are now. And those who'll get here, and watch her die all over again. 

The ACJ hype. I've known her for some time now. I heard of her one year before I set foot in Chennai.. Everybody was awed by her. They used to whisper when her name was taken. 

We were whispering amongst ourselves during the first week. She was very much alive, even then. 7 days. 14 days. And then nobody  heard of her again. There was no more whispering. Only open rebuke. 

They killed her. They killed her with boring modules, lack of logic, 85% attendance, law assignments and pointless assignments. 

In her stead stands Hope. Our angel. With promises of a fast approaching May. And of a pleasant summer this time around in Chennai.

If you read this, and if you still believe in Santa Claus and ACJ Hype, my advice is, don't. You'll end up having a disappointing Christmas and a disappointing year. 

Today Was MakeADiff Day!

Morning 11 am: Headache. Should I go back to sleep? Maybe not. Chai perhaps. Kaddy has sent a message. Ok. Reply later. Chai. No wait, first check mail. 

Go to the Mad Blog and check on things. New post? And I see this post by Kaddy. 

The slideshow keeps me mesmerized for quite some time. The day isn't as bad now. My only regret is that I won't be able to celebrate MakeADiff Day with my favourite Maddies. But it's alright. December will come soon. 

I've been asked questions like 'Does it pay?' and 'Can't you make better use of your time?' and 'Seriously, what do you get out of it?' too many times. 

I always smile and shrug. Some people might never understand. There was a time when I didn't get the idea either.  Thankfully though, MAD and Mad folk changed me. 

So here's to the folks over at Make A Difference! Thanks for changing my life for good, and happy birthday! 

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