And then.. Then, there is Project Completion

** Disclaimer: This post will in all possibility contain random outbursts of anger, offensive language and indecent references. If you are a minor under adult supervision, read and use as you see fit. **


Ha! Felt good to start with that one. :) You see, when this month started, all I had was a challenge and a new cycle. 

This month ends with a less-new cycle, valuable lessons about myself learned, a target achieved and the satisfaction of spitting in the faces of you nay-sayers. 

If you're reading this, you know what this is all about. My project for the month of June. 1ooo kilometers. 

It gives me quite a lot of pleasure to tell you that the target has been met. Two days before the close of the month. (In 23 days, to be more precise)

As for you fuckers who said that I'd vanish into thin air, or that I'd go into the 2D mode of existence, or that I wouldn't get past 500, or that it was a stupid pursuit: Well, the longest of my fingers stands straight in defiance to your quirks and pessimism. The opening two words of this post was JUST FOR YOU! Enjaay!

It wasn't easy. It was raining at times. Sweltering hot otherwise. But, to be frank, more than the people who were supporting me, it was you, the people who weren't and the people who were saying I couldn't do it, that drove me on most of the time. So yeah, do need to thank you as well.

Anyhow, find the figures here.

Oh, and to the folks who were supporting me! THANK YOU! The support kilometers I had to do for you was the best part of the month!  Felt good doing it! :D

Meanwhile, Zen and the Art of Bicycle Perseverance continues right here on this blog.. Come back and visit to find out more about what to do when some fucking moron runs you off the road..

Until then, ride hard, don't take shit from anyone, and complete your projects. Jr out!

The Ides of June.. Well, Not Really, But..

June has just been cut short for me. What was to be a 30-day project involving 1000 kms, just turned into a 28-day project, with a wee bit over 1000 kilometers.

Rains, roads and dumass motorists haven't been kind. 

But hills have been climbed, Zen has been practiced, abuses have been hurled and gears have been changed. 

Today being the half-day mark, it was time to assess oneself in true Zen tradition. 

So. Here are the facts: 

1. Kilometers covered: 530.62
2. Time taken: 1 day and half an hour. 

More such unnecessary figures can be found here

In conclusion: 
Am I on track for 1000 kms: Yes.
Am I on track for more than 1000 kms: Possibly. 

Am I going to stick onto the project: Yes. Been laughed at by too many people to give up now.

Tips from "Zen and the Art of Bicycle Perserverance":
--> For every hill you pedal up, there's always going to be a downhill you can coast on.

--> Distances never get smaller. Your ability to lie to yourself gets better.

--> When the World runs out of petrol and diesel, cyclists can have the sadistic pleasure of honking at the now-carless Motorist bastards. Or, more simply put: Patience IS virtue!

(Image courtesy:

Project 1000 June K

Dear Reader (s?),

This is not one of those posts where I say something stupid, you read it, think to yourself 'weirdo!' and then we all go on with our merry lives.

No my friend, we're in deeper shit now.

So. Did you know that I recently bought a bicycle? Well I did. I bought the Schwinn Searcher 2011. Google it, and you'll get this image:

Awesome right? Well, in reality, mine looks like this:

No less awesome mind you. If you sniggered, fuck you! Moving on..

Getting to the point. This friend (ah well sort of) of mine, who has a Bianchi Camaleonte and likes showing it off took it one step too far yesterday. He challenged me. The nerve of the short bastard, I say!

What was the challenge? To do a 1000 kilometers on the bike during the month of June. As I stood there stunned and shocked, it occurred to me what I should do.

As any responsible person who has Barney has his role model would do, I shouted out: "Challenge accepted."

So. This morning at 4.30 a.m. I put on my lucky, erm, shoes, listened to an AC/DC track and hit the road.

17 kms in, I had the realization.

As any number of ex-girlfriends, ex-roomies and ex-friends will tell you, I have MAJOR trust-issues. Didn't help that all of them were from the canine family, but anyhow, I don't trust anybody!

Point being, I don't trust MYSELF on this. If it's just between me and Mr. Bianchi(cken), I'm pretty sure I'll drop out, come down with a fever, develop arthritis, fake a heart condition or something after a few days.

But not if you know too. For putting up with all my weirdo shit, I owe you that much. :D

So here is the deal. Keep me to my word. For every person who calls, pings or comments and encourages me to do this, I'll do an extra 5 kilometers!

And how are you going to know what distances I did? You can find it right here.

So let's go! Bring on Day 2 I say!