The Jinxability Blog

When you get to a new place I guess, at first, you only notice the bad things about that place. You don't start noticing the good things until you move away perhaps.. 


I've been in Chennai for 8 months now.. And yesterday I was thinking what all the city needed to learn before, for example, some big event came to it's doorsteps.. Like say, the Olympics, or the FIFA World Cup (yeah host nations qualify automatically.. :P)


Anyhow, disclaimer: I DO NOT mean to imply that all Chennaites have character disorders and are total snobs.. I do run into some genuinely nice people everyday. Like the lady at the provision store nearby, who has in all probability never attended school, yet attempts to talk to me in English.. But their charm is overshadowed and shit upon because of what the Snob minority does.. 




So, a few kind words (read constructive criticism) for the Snob population of Chennai:


1. A Red Light usually means stop your damn car. It DOES NOT MEAN:
     a) A game of dodge-the-pedestrians has just started,
     b) That it will change to green if you lean on your horn for two minutes.
     c) That pedestrians are purposefully crossing the road to make YOU late for work


2. A Zebra crossing (I've provided image below for reference) is a place where people CROSS the road. Yes, not everybody has a car like you. Please bear with us. We're trying to get there.




And, at a Zebra crossing, the pedestrian has first preference. You're sitting in the AC comfort of your car, we're out in the sun. At least try to be a bit more considerate, and brake down from 90 to 30. You'll only lose 5 seconds at the most. 


3. Anybody who does not speak Tamil is NOT the Arch Enemy of the Tamil Empire and all the glory that Tamil people stand for. And yes, anybody who does not speak Tamil is also not always a North Indian.. (I don't speak Hindi that well either.)


4. Nope. Mallus don't speak Tamil. 


5. Do make an effort at times to NOT be Obnoxious. Nobody will think you're a sissy if you're nice to somebody. It actually makes the other person feel better. YES, I'm NOT kidding! 


6. When you're talking to somebody who is standing right next to you, try to keep your voice below 120 Decibels. Also a very valid point when it comes to talking on the phone. Especially valid if you're talking on the phone INSIDE a bus! 


7. Try not to shit, spit and urinate EVERYWHERE. If natures calls that bad, find a clump of trees, not the middle of the road. 


This is just some of the things I thought somebody should say to these folks. The Nice people reading this, who are from Chennai, don't be demoralised.. If it weren't for you, and if it was just THEM here, most people woulda packed up and made a run for their lives.. You make this city bearable.. Thank you... :)


(Images Courtesy: lovethatfeeling.com, bloguerrilla.it)

What's with doctors and hospital people that makes them think they're better than us?

Just because they were better than me at academics they're better than me? Just because they wrote the Medical entrance exam that I didn't write because I overslept they can look down on me? Just because they spent five years (possibly more these days) gobbling down theory when I was playing truant in college they can talk down to me?

Hospitals have been and always will be dark, mysterious and rude places.


Last evening, with fever, sinusitis, a bad cough and breathing difficulties, against all my better instincts, I decided to go down that lane. I had a strange sense of foreboding that I chose to ignore. When you're unwell, and your head seems to be splitting at the middle with pain, you do tend to do that.

Nearest hospital? Padmapriya Multi-speciality hospital. Yeah, don't get me started on the name.

Reception: 6 pm
Jr: I need to see a General Physician.
Obnoxious Receptionist: That dwaar, saar. Please, wyait on thwase chairs.

6:30: Chair. Waiting. Two more people to go before my turn.

7:00: My turn about to arrive finally.

7:01: My turn arrives, but an elderly woman jumps up and runs inside, before I can get up. (sigh)

7:15: Elderly woman goes out. Another one prepares to cut line and jump inside. I stop this one.
"Ma'am, it's my turn"
"Enna, sonna ...... (unintelligible Tamil) pongo."
(sigh) I sit down and wait again.

7:30: Young woman sitting beside me who came way after I did, thinks she can jump line too. I don't think so.
"Ma'am, I came before you, so I'm going in."
"Waaat? NOOOOO! Yai caim yearlier, yai was shitting dayar, yai sva you kyaming yin."
"No you didn't. And no matter what, I'm going in next. And that's it."
"Yask tha reesheshpen who kyaim farst!"

Reception: 7:31:
"Can't you have a damn token system or something here so that the patients won't fight amongst themselves? Is this what you call professionalism? Is this how you damn run a hospital" (the headache was getting to me)
Obnoxious Receptionist: "Waat saaar? Adjust, no? Wait for some more time, no? Waat, no?"
" I've been waiting since 6! You gonna treat me or should I go somewhere else?"
(politeness out of nowhere, suddenly) "Er, saar. Please take a seat. I'll talk to the necessary pyeepyal."


7:35: Still waiting.
Well Dressed Man: (Strides up) "What's your problem, sir?"
Me: "Your hospital is not pro enough. You've got patients fighting amongst themselves coz you don't have a damn token system. That's  my goddamn problem."
WDM: "Er, I mean, sir, I'm the doctor. What's your medical problem?"
Me: (sigh) "If you aren't wearing the coat or the stethescope thing, at least introduce yourself next time. Ok, my problems are..."

First BP test: 140/90
Injection that hurts, that took several attempts.
Second BP: 120/90
Doc: "See? Your BP has come down now. You shouldn't have so much BP."
Me: "Whose fault is that?"
Doc: "Er, well, let me explain the medicines I'm about to prescribe to you.. You can take the rest of it up with our hospital management staff, they're waiting for you outside.

Outside: 10 mins later.
No Hospital Management Staff. I'll probably have to wait for them too.
(sigh) I walk out.

(Images Courtesy: buycostumes.com)