Why We'd Have Been Better Off as Monkeys

I saw a monkey today. I smirked and thought to myself: "To think we all came from THIS!" (Theists, don't worry. I'm sure God still loves you loads. He'll send down goodie packs very soon)

But then I was thinking. Life would have been so much easier if I had been a damn monkey.

They don't have to write exams. They don't have to deal with identities. They don't get married. Hell, they can sleep around with anyone they want to. There's no poor monkey and rich monkey. There are no monkeys that go to war in Iraq. Or Afghanistan. As far as I know, there are none that blow themselves up to prove a point.

There are no Monkeys that preach bullshit to others and has a huge following. There are no Monkey Gods. There are no Monkey temples. Monkeys don't have to listen to Pop Music. Or Britney Spears. Or Justin Whatever-that-Kid-is.

In Monkey life, everything is fair.

Yes, I know what you're going to say. You're going to say, if you like it so much, then why don't you go live in the damn forest. Why are you enjoying the 'comforts' of life and still complaining?

Well, if I didn't know there were any comforts, would I miss them?

They say that the greatest thing that happened in evolution, was the evolution of the human brain. A brain with ultimate capacity to do wonderful things.

And here we are, quite a few billion of us. Our lives are too complicated. Too pointless. And we've destroyed, or in the process of destroying, everything around us.

But it seems that the Universe will win again. There should always be a balance right. Calamities occur and ALWAYS balances out the equation if there ever is a surge.

Our own brain is our biggest calamity. So bring it on. Bring on the pollution, the nuclear bombs, the international disputes, borders, heavy artillery and more teen pop music.

We will be balanced soon.

PS: Sorry for this post. Just one of those days when you feel like this. I should be back to normal in about 24 hours.

(Image Courtesy: potstuck.com)

Note to Self: Never Encourage Free Riding!

Team work is never a problem until you get to work with the shittiest team there ever was. Now what if you're the team leader and you're expected to deliver results?

So what do you do? The way I saw it, there are two options.

Option no 1: Sit back, relax, do a bit of pointless facebooking, be at the receiving end of some bollocking and the wait until somebody says : "Ok, dude, we're in. Let's get to work on this."

Option no 2: Tell yourself: "I have never gone behind schedule. Nor have I not completed anything that I was given. I'll do this myself and prove a point even if no one is willing to work with me."

Now, if you are one of those idiots who picked Option no 2, listen up very carefully. This is the best advice you'll ever get:


You see, at my illustrious college, we were given one such assignment. A website it was. I put my heart and soul into it, spent one sleepless week on it, went to the verge of a nervous breakdown, lost quite a bit of hair on my forehead and had frequent fights with almost everybody who I could afford to have a fight with.

A couple of months on, the grades come. And I got a lesser grade while the assholes who sat in class facebooking (If they did show up for class that is) and ran around doing nothing actually did better than me.

Result: Depression, verge of another nervous breakdown, anger, rash riding (on Hero Honda Splendour, but rash riding nonetheless) and another set of fights.

But I'm the more lucky kind I guess, I fought for it and actually got some semblance of justice from my illustrious faculty.

If you're one of those idiots who picked no: 2 as well, my big brother's words should sum it up for you: "It's your fault too. You encouraged free riding. You can't really blame anyone!"

Lesson learnt. The hard way.

Note to self: NEVER encourage free riding!

PS: Faculty people, if you're reading this, as you already guessed this is a pure work of fiction. Obviously. Y'all are like the greatest people ever to have walked these corridors. You wouldn't do something as grossly stupid and biassed like this now, would you?

(Image Courtesy: Foundshit.com)
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Things You Learn When You Go Pondy Again..

My second Pondy visit was better than the first one (company being a major deciding factor, no prima-donas around as compared to last time). But, as life goes, there were lessons to be learnt. Such as:

1. NEVER ever think you can just catch a bus on Friday evening. You'll have to kill, murder and obiliterate to get into one. 
2. If you do decide to risk all and just get on a jam-packed bus, make sure that you get on one that is tall enough to accommodate you
3. If your prime intention is NOT drinking, Auroville is THE place. 
4. If Auroville is where you end up, you HAVE to check em 'cottages' out!
5. If you're in Auroville on a Full Moon night, and you don't go to the beach, you're what paleontologists term as a 'douche-bag-ophus Rex'
6. One thing you've to have if you're eating from any restaurant at Auroville: Patience, loads of it.
7. (sigh) (Just like last time:) Get Job, Buy your own camera and then take with you to Pondy
8. Take friends along who let you borrow their camera in case you could not execute Lesson no:7
9. No matter what anybody says, do NOT buy cookies from Daily Bread for jobless women such as ThingMaBlob and NewsRoom Person!
10. Upload pics on blog as soon as you get a chance!