Why Does the IPL Suck at Times?

Dear Mr. Modi,

I think I will go for an entirely original approach to this topic. You see, if you were on Twitter, you would've noticed, that there are two kinds of people when it comes to IPL. 

1. Those who are Cricket fanatics and ALWAYS talk about the IPL. Sometimes too much. Including those who watch it on YouTube at a 5 minute delay and hate the rest of the tweeps at home for spoiling the suspense; and,

2. Those who hate everything about IPL and thinks that basically, you're just a dick out to rip off everybody and make a lot of money, and screw over every Indian in the process. These are the people who sign into Twitter only after games get over, or have successfully made use of filters so that they don't see anything with the tag #IPL. 

Now, I don't belong to either category. See, I like watching cricket. I like it when Yusuf Pathan blasts a 37 ball 100, or Warne flights the ball and makes an idiot of the batsman. 

But, I should tell you, the IPL sucks for me too at times. And like a responsible citizen, I will tell you the reasons why:

1. Why the fuck does it last so long?

2. I like using the terms 'Catches', 'Sixes', and 'Awesome'. Your puppet doll commentators, for some reason insist on using 'Karbon Kamaal Catch', 'DLF Maximum' and 'Citi Moment of Success' instead of their better substitutes. The retards!

3. How do you guys manage to squeeze in an ad while the spinner takes his run-up?

4. I DO NOT WANT to see that stupid MRF Plane anymore!

5. And also, I know you went a long way and worked hard to steal the IPL idea from Kapil Dev, but still, try and feel a little less important. Think that'll stop people thinking 'Oh he's such a dick.' whenever they see you. 

As conclusion, I'd also like to politely request you to take a look at the English Premier League. It's obviously bigger than the IPL in terms of viewership. But there are no Barclay's Super Goals or a Nike Super Duper Tackle in the EPL now is there?

See Mr. Modi, I know you like money. I do too. But we all gotta draw the line somewhere, don't we??

(Images Courtesy: Starbozz.files.wordpress.com, Cricket.butjazz.com)
Category: 10 comments


Jonva said...

ha ha ha.. good one. I was about to write a whole entry on the sheer misery caused by the phrase 'City moment of success' alone. Good that you beat me to it.
It's sad that everytime the MRF blimp comes on screen, the commentators HAVE to ramble on about how the MRF pace foundation wsa founded 20 years ago and how it made bowlers like Zaheer better (and how it turned pricks like Sreesanth into bowlers). Surely the most misery a Blimp has caused since the Hindenberg blew up.

Fact is that its gonna go on though.. Save up the venom :P And tell Mr. Modi too.. You know, if you meet him or he calls you or somethin... :P

Mihir Balantrapu said...

lol dude hilarious and so true! Modi could have been a bonda-tea vendor at a station if it weren't for the suits he wears.... :P props for bringing up the comparison with epl

shyamonk said...

Hey i never watched this thing, but ... i get the idea - yeah it is being overdone then in a very tasteless way. Who knows what money and whose money this way and that... Reminds me of the flashy ads and intrusive sign up forms and livechats (!)

I Like your site design ...


Jr. said...

@ Jonva,
Don't be too sure it'll go on. This thing won't survive another 5 seasons if it goes on like this. People will get tired of it sooner or later.

@ Mihir,
He he Yes!

@ Monk,
Good on you if you haven't watched it! :D
And thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha! awesome son!

- The Virgin Author! said...

Well written, mate!


1. I am fed up of Gautam Gambhir/Virendra Sehwag unable to decide whose call is it? Come on? You guys are rich enough to buy two different phones? Why insert your sim cards in a single phone?

2. What do you have to say about the Max Mobile Strategic Time out, which is basically nothing, but sheer stupidity for making more money?


I seriously doubt what is going to be the future of IPL. =)

Jr. said...

He he Yes! Sad seeing two stinking rich people fighting over a phone. Especially a shitty one! :D

Strategic Time Out: Has nothing to do with cricket strategy and everything to do with Advertising strategy. Such an epic fail!

Nilesh said...

Mumbai Indians is the KING. Mumbai Indians win the cup.

Raju said...


Ankit Poddar said...

It is called MRF Blimp by the retards, which it is... but yeah, i agree that you don't want to see it over and over again... and the retards actually go, "and the MRF blimp is still there" as if it were to fly away with the match on display.

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