A Few Kind Words to SOME Chennaites...

When you get to a new place I guess, at first, you only notice the bad things about that place. You don't start noticing the good things until you move away perhaps.. 

I've been in Chennai for 8 months now.. And yesterday I was thinking what all the city needed to learn before, for example, some big event came to it's doorsteps.. Like say, the Olympics, or the FIFA World Cup (yeah host nations qualify automatically.. :P)

Anyhow, disclaimer: I DO NOT mean to imply that all Chennaites have character disorders and are total snobs.. I do run into some genuinely nice people everyday. Like the lady at the provision store nearby, who has in all probability never attended school, yet attempts to talk to me in English.. But their charm is overshadowed and shit upon because of what the Snob minority does.. 

So, a few kind words (read constructive criticism) for the Snob population of Chennai:

1. A Red Light usually means stop your damn car. It DOES NOT MEAN:
     a) A game of dodge-the-pedestrians has just started,
     b) That it will change to green if you lean on your horn for two minutes.
     c) That pedestrians are purposefully crossing the road to make YOU late for work

2. A Zebra crossing (I've provided image below for reference) is a place where people CROSS the road. Yes, not everybody has a car like you. Please bear with us. We're trying to get there.

And, at a Zebra crossing, the pedestrian has first preference. You're sitting in the AC comfort of your car, we're out in the sun. At least try to be a bit more considerate, and brake down from 90 to 30. You'll only lose 5 seconds at the most. 

3. Anybody who does not speak Tamil is NOT the Arch Enemy of the Tamil Empire and all the glory that Tamil people stand for. And yes, anybody who does not speak Tamil is also not always a North Indian.. (I don't speak Hindi that well either.)

4. Nope. Mallus don't speak Tamil. 

5. Do make an effort at times to NOT be Obnoxious. Nobody will think you're a sissy if you're nice to somebody. It actually makes the other person feel better. YES, I'm NOT kidding! 

6. When you're talking to somebody who is standing right next to you, try to keep your voice below 120 Decibels. Also a very valid point when it comes to talking on the phone. Especially valid if you're talking on the phone INSIDE a bus! 

7. Try not to shit, spit and urinate EVERYWHERE. If natures calls that bad, find a clump of trees, not the middle of the road. 

This is just some of the things I thought somebody should say to these folks. The Nice people reading this, who are from Chennai, don't be demoralised.. If it weren't for you, and if it was just THEM here, most people woulda packed up and made a run for their lives.. You make this city bearable.. Thank you... :)

(Images Courtesy: lovethatfeeling.com, bloguerrilla.it)


samuraisuraj said...

Well as someone who has never been to Chennai for an extended period of time,this post is already giving me the creeps and shouting out loud to run for my life rather than risk mine by visiting Chennai ever in my life

Jr. said...

Ah well, don't do that.. When I'm about to leave here, I'll do a post on all the nice things about Chennai.. Then you'll see! :)

Anonymous said...

Makes me glad about the decision not to come there for my masters. Anyway, each city has such quirks. Some other cities, in the future may make you even wish that you were in Chennai, maybe?

Adithya Ramesh said...

Aliya come back...We'll declare an emergency period and kill anyone who fails to obey traffic rules... :D

interesting blog...

Jr. said...

@ psychedchick,
Yeah, I suppose, for example, Mumbai will have that effect. :D :P

@ Adi,
I swear next time somebody is about to run me over, I'll end up killing him.. I'm dangerously close to going psycho.. So, no, no need for an emergency period! :)

anoop said...

deii awesome....hehehehe....

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