All In a Day's Work

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 5; the fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
(Based on Actual events)
No, wait.
(These ARE Actual events)

12:00 am : HAVE to sleep early tonight.. At least tonight. Please God please.

3:00 am: Knock on the door.
"You up?"
"Yeah."
"Great, see you at 4."

4:00 am: At the doorsteps of the first coffee shop to open in Chennai.
Ok, fine, Adayar maybe. But still, first one to open in our vicinity.
"Anna, unda round round i take 4 - unda he take 3, i... "
"Son, I know Malayalam. Don't desecrate Tamil like this please."
"Er, he he.. Ok, sure.. Guys what'd you take?"

5:00 am: Why can't I sleep? Why o why.
It's not like I had coffee or anything.
Oh wait, I did have coffee. (sigh)



NEVER AGAIN! NEVER WILL I HAVE COFFEE AT 4 IN THE MORNING!

07:00 am: Sleep

09:30: Roomie is off to college.
"You dick, class starts at 10. Get your ass out of bed!"
Get up, run into bathroom, run out of bathroom, run out of house, do 20 minute walk in 10 minutes, still arrive too late for breakfast and go straight to class.

10:30 am: Attending lecture. Why did I come? Why? I coulda slept better on my own bed. These damn chairs are half my size.

11:15 am: Quick smoke, quick coffee, back to sleepy oblivion that promises no sleep.

12:59 pm: I hear people clapping. What did I win. As I stand center stage, people come to me and clap me on my back. I'm exhilarated. Wait, stop patting my back so hard, it's starting to hurt.
I turn around.

Must be the Oscars, Tom Cruise is standing there. And he says:
"Dude, wake the fuck up, lecture is over. I have to go to lunch. Move out of my way!"
(sigh) Back to the real world.

1:30 pm: Conversations around me at the table: "How do these canteen people take ordinary food and turn it into bland food?" "I hate these bastards." "We should nuke this place." Headache.

Ugggh.. Bad bad food. Please don't tell me that I'll have to throw this up later!

2:00 pm: Reporting class. "Jithin, where are you on your two stories?"
"I'm making good progress, sir. I got the number for the political leader for that love jihad story and checking out that education fair today evening."
"Good job."
(Gulp. I'm so screwed.)

5:00 pm: Metro station. "Where do I get down if I want to go to Royapettah?"
"Saar, you gyet daun at Trriplikyein."
"Alright thanks."

5:45 pm: Where is this triplicane place? Damn! Will ask fellow passengers.
"Sir, where is Triplicane?"
"Yai, Nva Yinglish. Gva Yewei!"
Er, ok. "Ma'am, Triplicane."
"No stop CaLLED Triplicane beta, the stop were you had to get down was Tiru-bleh-bleh-veli. That was half an hour ago. How funny. Ha ha ha"
Errrr.. Hag! Witch!

6:15 pm: Get down at some forsaken stop. Get on bus to Royapettah.

6:45 pm: Somewhere in Royapettah.
To Shopkeeper: "Anna, where is Hotel Deccan Plaza?"
"Very near. Ten minutes walk. This road."

7:15 pm: Ten minute walk turned out to be half an hour walk.
In front of hotel Deccan Plaza. Is that puke coming up? Yes, it is. Find a tree. Puke under it.

7:20 pm: I don't feel so good. Should I go back?
Disembodied voice from sky says: "A journalist has to work no matter what.. Oooo aaaaahh."
(sigh) Fine!

8:00 pm: Interviews done. On bus back home. Damn! Had to call that politician.
Phone rings.
"Sir, I called earlier today, three times."
"Ah yes, that journo student guy. Hold on.
After five minutes, "Yeah, I'm still busy, call me after one hour."

8:55 pm: Back home.

09:00 pm: Call again. Phone rings.
"Oh, it's you again. Listen, I'm too busy to talk to you. Why don't you talk to some low level guy. Call my assistant, he'll give you some shit and up-coming youngie's number."
"Sir, but.."
Click.

10:00 pm: Talking to "some shit and up coming youngie".
"Yai Fyeel Strangly Yebaut Dees. Pyarpasful, Kaaanspiraashi!"
"Yes, sir, point taken. But I did not ask you anything about Tamil Nadu politics. I wanted to know about your reaction to the.."
"Ah Yeais, Dyat Tvoo, Pyarpasful, Kaaanspiraashi."
Yes sir.

10:15 pm: Damn, forgot dinner. Run out, buy Maggi, come back eat.

11:00 pm: Writing report. I have to sleep early today.

12:00 am: It woulda been so much cooler if Gerard Butler had showed up in my dream. Why did Tom Cruise come. Oh fuck, the report. The report. Yeah, the report.

12:01 am: I must, MUST, sleep early today. At least today. Let's get the hell done with this report. Inspiration, strike me please.

04:00 am: Anna, 1 coffee please. (sigh) And make it extra strong.


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21 comments:

Ravan said...

darn... reminded of my life....super cool...:D

MADHU RAO | (INDImag.COM) said...

Circle of life ! :-)

Curse at what you do wrong, only to do that again like habitual clock-work ! But that 4.00 AM extra strong coffee sounds so damn tempting. Then again, what kind of a Kannadiga or a Tamilian would one be if they do not go crazy for good filter coffee !

Good one..

psychedchick said...

OK I'm too used to your rant now.. I need to just know one thing...How is seeing one man is your dream better than seeing another? Confusion!

Jr. said...

Of course it matters.. If you see Tom Cruise in your dreams, it means you've been watching too many chick flicks lately. If it's Gerard Butler, it means, you're not watching THAT MANY chick flicks lately.. Get my point?

@Ravan, Madhu Rao,

Thanks guys.
PS: I'm Mallu, not Kannadiga or Tamil, but still yeah, coffee is a temptation not to be resisted. Sleep later. :D

Psych Babbler said...

Uni days...just a vicious cycle, aren't they? And lol at the coffee addiction! Funnily enough, coffee never had much of an impact on me. I used to drink up to 5 cups of coffee when I was at uni to try and get through the night working on assignments. But I could still sleep like a baby. Go figure!

Karthik said...

You see Tom Cruise and Gerald Butler in your dreams? Megan Fox, Monica Bellucci, Penelope and Salma and etc. come daily.. :P
Kidding!
Well, it was a wonderful post. Enjoyed reading. And coffee? Man, my day doesn't go without a few gallons of coffee. That's why I could relate to this post so easily.
All the best! Cheerios!

Nethra said...

I am a coffee-holic too. I stay awake until late at night and coffee is what keeps me awake.
It was a nice read. :)

Elma Bartholomew said...

hey its amazing hw u cn put d daily madshyt of lyfe into words wid style..
its so true of hw dis deadly cycle jz keeps draggin us by d ankle n des lik almost no escape...
n altho des no odd-hour coffee shops around...coffee is always d ryt pill to d screamin-i-cant-do-nomore syndrome...
good one jr...

rose said...

i feel much better....at least i get to sleep by 2..(some days)...yaya

Roshmi Sinha said...

A nice fun read. And yes... coffee is the elixir of life. The good old fashioned filter coffee, that is.

PS: Following you...

Shalini said...

Well...that made for an interesting ramble through your life. But I guess these will be the best days of your life yet! :)

Good luck and cheers!

Shruti said...

Hey, its was a wow!! Especially the spelling of triplicane.. I was chuckling all those funny expressions!! its funny when someone spells the tamil names like this! Pity chennai!

Jr. said...

@ Psych Babbler,
5 and still sleep eh? All hail! :P

@ Karthik,
I know man! But ugly guys sit on either side of me in class.. Can't have supermodels asking me to get up in guy's voices.. That's just wrong, even for a dream.. :D

@ Nethra,
Thank you. :)

@ Elma,
screamin-i-cant-do-nomore syndrome.. Ha ha! That's a good one. :D

@ Rosey,
2? Lucky you.. !!

Jr. said...

@ Roshmi,
Thanks and yeah, I see you! :D

@ Shalini,
Yeah, no kidding! Won't forget our 4 am outings ever!

@ Shruthi,
Thanks.. And yeah, Chennai can be a tough task at times if you're not from around here.. :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

hi..
nice post but could nt connect much wid coffee shops and chennai...
all d best for bat5

Makk said...

Indeed All in a days work!

Nikhil Patokar said...

Right now i need sleep too...this engineering exams wont give me any....

dilontherocks said...

That was fun read. Especially Pyarpasful, Kaaanspiraashi!
Nice one...

ηανєєη said...

typical student timeline ... nice

Saimanohar said...

I could identify my college days with your post thumbs up!!

Jr. said...

@Mahesh Kalaal,
Are you from around here as well??

@makk, dilontherocks, Naveen, Saimanohar,
Thanks guys.

@Nikhil,
Good luck dude. For both trying to sleep and the exam.. :)

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