The Common Man's Guide on How to be an Idiot: Part 1: How to screw up while buying electronics!
We all buy electronics. If you're a common man though, you make sure you get the best deal out of it. If you are too bored of that; if you want more excitement in your lives; if you need funny stories to tell your friends while you're drinking because you're too boring to think of other interesting conversation topics, read on:
Screw-Up #1: Being the economical one:
If all electronics were built to last until they were deemed unworthy, then they would all be like Tom Cruise's sunglasses in Mission Impossible 2. They will self-destruct in 5 seconds.
Hence, if you really wanna look like an idiot, be stingy. Buy the cheapest thing available, from the nearest store possible. To put some effort into it would be a crime!
Case in Point: This, uh, friend of mine wanted a laptop. So he went to Dell's website which allows you to customize as much as you want.
Now it is fun when you put all the high-end stuff while customizing and end up with a bill that roughly comes up to how much you make a year.
Ok. Let's be fair here. We common men have limitations. But, what's NOT advisable is going for the cheapest stuff that Dell offers (I'm sure even they're embarrassed that they put that stuff on their site now)...
Result: In roughly a couple of months, no program will work on your lappy. It will hang so much that you'll find yourself going to office just so that you don't have to stare at that blank screen anymore..
Now it is fun when you put all the high-end stuff while customizing and end up with a bill that roughly comes up to how much you make a year.
Ok. Let's be fair here. We common men have limitations. But, what's NOT advisable is going for the cheapest stuff that Dell offers (I'm sure even they're embarrassed that they put that stuff on their site now)...
Result: In roughly a couple of months, no program will work on your lappy. It will hang so much that you'll find yourself going to office just so that you don't have to stare at that blank screen anymore..
Screw-Up #2: Jumping the Gun:
NEVER ever buy something without trying it out, and making sure that it is indeed what you want.
This same friend that I was talking about once went to buy headphones.
Now, for the uninitiated in headphones, the best ear-plugs out there is probably Creative's EP-630. It looks like this:
This same friend that I was talking about once went to buy headphones.
Now, for the uninitiated in headphones, the best ear-plugs out there is probably Creative's EP-630. It looks like this:
Now, what do you do if the vendor says he doesn't have EP-630, but has EP-830 (which btw is also more expensive)?
Well, usually people would ask to see it and try it out. But not me. Er, I mean, not that friend of mine. He went ahead and bought it.
Result: Turns out the one that he bought is half the length of the EP-630 and doesn't reach from his ears to his jeans pocket. I mean, this guy is 6 feet 4. (Weird huh? So am I!) Those headphones now have a good time sitting on his shelf.
They're also occasionally used to hang bananas from the hook on the roof.
Screw-Up # 3: 'I trust ALL cheap stuff'
Alright, I'll let you all in on a secret. Cheap stuff are cheap because of a very obvious reason. Apparently, they're not made to last..
Even worse, some of them are not even built to work at all.. They just sit there inside their pretty casings just waiting.. Waiting for a colossal idiot to walk by..
And on your lucky day, it could just be this friend of mine.. Case in point: An mp3 player this guy bought..
Guy: This thing is cheap. It does work right?
Vendor: *grunt*
Guy: Awesome. You're awesome! I love Ritchie Street!
24 hours later:
Guy: Dude, this shit don't work!
Vendor: *grunt* = I'm not taking it back if it doesn't work fuck-wit. Ha ha ha!
So there. Now you have a better idea how to make an idiot out of yourself. Keep reading for more interesting fields to fuck up in.. So long now!
(Images courtesy: volksdepot.co.uk, snpi.dell.com)
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