Here's a countdown of the 3 worst things that could happen to you on your way back:
1. Get Mugged!
I'm not kidding. The incident that was the inspiration for this post. 3 muggers, 1 lonely assailant. Lots of bruises on either sides. No arrests. One mobile phone stolen.
Like this, only minus the knife, the hood, the fake knife and the constipated look. And did I mention three of them and the fetish for mobile phones?
How did this happen? Well, you have to look at the road we are made to travel through everyday. It looks like this:
Can't see anything? Of course you can't. NEITHER CAN WE YOU ADMINISTRATIVE DIPSHITS. DELIVER THE GODDAMN FOOD!!
Anyhow, this was voted the most shittiest thing that could happen to anybody. Moving on.
2. Swimming through Mud
As well drained as Chennai is, it only takes roughly around 5 minutes of train to enable the sharks from the sea to swim up to the Mount Road (or whatever the arterial road of Chennai is)
Now, water I can take. Water you can easily step on, and it'll dry off.
See? Perfectly acceptable. As long as you're tall (which I'm) you never need worry about sinking into one of those potholes that are conspicously hidden under this calm and collected exterior. Of course, the sewage canal poses a problem, but I won't go into the details in the interests of not ruining your appetite.
But imagine the same thing, only mud instead of water. There have been incidents of people who had to be pulled out coz they got stuck. Seriously!
3. Getting Molested by Dogs (The Canine Kind)
Question: Are there more tea stalls or stray dogs in Chennai? If you're a 'rational' person, you'd say: "Like, duh, as if the two are related. ':P'' (sigh) Well, it's simple, every tea stall has at least two dogs 'working' it. Two is the bare minimum mind you.
You get the picture I hope. Depending on the amount of crunchies they were able to get from there 'joints', these adorable looking, sweet creatures may decide to chase you, hunt you, or molest you. Of course, all this will happen on that dark road, so you won't know for sure if it was the dogs or the muggers until you get back home and see what all you lost.
This is Sammy by the way (or was it Selvan) who works our college canteen. (sigh)
4 comments:
sigh..u poor thing..
He he he.. Yes yes.. Poor thing alright :)
lovely!!!great lyf boy!!
Hahaha! This is hilarious. I repeat: You should write more when you're drunk.
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