The Jinxability Blog

When you get to a new place I guess, at first, you only notice the bad things about that place. You don't start noticing the good things until you move away perhaps.. 


I've been in Chennai for 8 months now.. And yesterday I was thinking what all the city needed to learn before, for example, some big event came to it's doorsteps.. Like say, the Olympics, or the FIFA World Cup (yeah host nations qualify automatically.. :P)


Anyhow, disclaimer: I DO NOT mean to imply that all Chennaites have character disorders and are total snobs.. I do run into some genuinely nice people everyday. Like the lady at the provision store nearby, who has in all probability never attended school, yet attempts to talk to me in English.. But their charm is overshadowed and shit upon because of what the Snob minority does.. 




So, a few kind words (read constructive criticism) for the Snob population of Chennai:


1. A Red Light usually means stop your damn car. It DOES NOT MEAN:
     a) A game of dodge-the-pedestrians has just started,
     b) That it will change to green if you lean on your horn for two minutes.
     c) That pedestrians are purposefully crossing the road to make YOU late for work


2. A Zebra crossing (I've provided image below for reference) is a place where people CROSS the road. Yes, not everybody has a car like you. Please bear with us. We're trying to get there.




And, at a Zebra crossing, the pedestrian has first preference. You're sitting in the AC comfort of your car, we're out in the sun. At least try to be a bit more considerate, and brake down from 90 to 30. You'll only lose 5 seconds at the most. 


3. Anybody who does not speak Tamil is NOT the Arch Enemy of the Tamil Empire and all the glory that Tamil people stand for. And yes, anybody who does not speak Tamil is also not always a North Indian.. (I don't speak Hindi that well either.)


4. Nope. Mallus don't speak Tamil. 


5. Do make an effort at times to NOT be Obnoxious. Nobody will think you're a sissy if you're nice to somebody. It actually makes the other person feel better. YES, I'm NOT kidding! 


6. When you're talking to somebody who is standing right next to you, try to keep your voice below 120 Decibels. Also a very valid point when it comes to talking on the phone. Especially valid if you're talking on the phone INSIDE a bus! 


7. Try not to shit, spit and urinate EVERYWHERE. If natures calls that bad, find a clump of trees, not the middle of the road. 


This is just some of the things I thought somebody should say to these folks. The Nice people reading this, who are from Chennai, don't be demoralised.. If it weren't for you, and if it was just THEM here, most people woulda packed up and made a run for their lives.. You make this city bearable.. Thank you... :)


(Images Courtesy: lovethatfeeling.com, bloguerrilla.it)

Yes, it's no secret that V-Day can be very irritating and might get on your nerves. Cracked.com's detailed survey and resultant graph are proof of this..

V-Day could also suck because:
1. You might forget.
2. You might not like getting messages all day.
3. You might not be a 'lovey-dovey' person.
4. You might not have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
5. You might have a girlfriend/boyfriend who expects you to send flowers on V-day.
6. You might get married to your sister/brother if you live in religion infested areas.
7. You might not have a credit card.
8. You might have friends who have girlfriends and credit cards.
9. You might get mail forwards that make you wish the internet was never invented.
And of course, my personal favourite:
10. You might live in Chennai and it might not be a cloudy day..

(Image Courtesy: www.nolimits2life.com)

He sits in the ante-room with his head bowed. He can hear the crowd outside. They're loud tonight. He knows he'll do a good job. But one can never truly get rid of pre-show jitters. 


The band which is playing on stage moves on to their last song. "You guys are on in 5 minutes." somebody says. 


He smiles to himself. Daddy said it was a waste of time. Mommy said she was ashamed to tell the cousins what he was doing with his life. 'Friends' asked him to grow up. Grandma kept asking him why he didn't want to be an engineer. 


What if? What if they were just happy for him and told him to go live his life? What if they told him it was alright, as long as he was happy.. What if he didn't have to starve on some days because he could barely support himself? What if he had a trust fund and didn't have to care about anything or anybody else? 


What if? 


He smiles to himself again. If life was so easy, I wouldn't have been this good, he tells himself. 

It's time. He grabs his guitar and walks out. The bright lights and the screaming fans hits him as he steps on to the stage. He smiles to himself. Tonight is going to be a good night.... 






(Dedicated to the man who taught me English by asking me to write short stories. Grandpa.)